The Hidden Insecurities of He-Man

I’ve been watching a lot of the 1983 television series He-Man and the Masters of the Universe lately. Despite the sound writing, cool music, and graphic homoerotic overtones, I have a problem with the show.

The series is set on a faraway planet called Eternia. In nearly every episode, the evil Skelator and his minions plot to conquer the Castle Grayskull, because it contains “the secrets of the universe.” Skelator’s evil plots would succeed were it not for Prince Adam, who, the opening tells us: “holds aloft his magic sword, says the magic words and becomes He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe!”

He-Man is a separate being from Prince Adam, who takes possession of the young man whenever Eternia is threatened. Then He-Man’s personality recedes back to whence it came, be it the halls of Grayskull or Adam’s psyche. None of this really matters though. What you need to know is that without the emergency aid of He-Man, Eternia would fall to the forces of darkness.

As I said before, Skelator hatches a new scheme to defeat He-Man each episode, and falls just short. Of course, if he were any kind of mastermind, he wouldn’t use one evil scheme at a time. He’d find one super-weapon such as the Diamond Ray of Disappearance, hold off for a while, then combine its power with another magic tool, such as the Shape Shifting Staff. He-Man and the MOTU would be overwhelmed.

Even more disturbing, however, is that He-Man simply allows Skelator and his minions to escape back to their Snake Mountain fortress at the end of each episode. Then, apparently, the forces of good wait to be attacked again.

If any planet was in need of the Bush Doctrine, it’s Eternia. Imagine if He-Man, instead of waiting till the last minute to arrive stop the bad guys, were to launch a pre-emptive strike against Snake Mountain and catch Skelator off guard. If the good forces of Eternia had any sort of strength at all, they would have taken this action after Skelator’s first attack on the castle.

Therefore, I can only arrive at one conclusion: the forces of King Randor and the other “good guys” are inherently weaker than those of Skelator. Skelator has a robot army, super-powered acolytes (such as Beast Man, who controls all animals!), and is a master sorcerer. Yet, the king’s forces are aided by the magic of the Sorceress, whose powers weaken when she leaves Castle Grayskull. So there exists a sort of stalemate between these two great armies. The one person who can always strike this balance is He-Man, the “Most Powerful Man in the Universe.”

But I submit to you that He-Man’s worth extends no further than his raw strength. He is no grand strategist, only a gun to be fired at the enemy. When he fights, he leads no troops into combat: he just picks up the villains by their feet, swings them around, and throws them into a river. Or he punches a rock.

But still, he is capable of great feats, such as lifting a boulder to cap a volcano, or deflecting the magic bolts of Skelator with his enchanted sword. Then why does he not end the destructive conflict between the rival forces of Eternia?

Remember that when He-Man is not He-Man, he is Prince Adam, son of the king and heir to the throne. Adam, according to any episode of the show, is lazy, a poor warrior, and is always late for official functions. In the episode “Teela’s Quest” he even skirts guard training to go fishing. Yet, when he “holds aloft his magic sword” he becomes endowed with the “powers of Grayskull,” the entire might of the universe runs through his veins, and he is the hero of millions. And he has a great tan.

This train of thought can only arrive at one conclusion: Prince Adam is prolonging the conflict with Skelator to feed his own ego, thereby endangering trillions of lives all over the galaxy. Should he one day fail and Grayskull falls to Skelator, the madman will conquer us all.

I question the wisdom of the Sorceress, who claims that Adam is “destined” to become He-Man and save Eternia. I question the tactical sense of Duncan, the “Man-At-Arms” of the Eternian castle, for not urging Adam/He-Man to finish the fight. Most of all, I question myself, for having looked up to such a flawed man all through my childhood and adult life.