Letter to the Hospital

Administrator,

I’m very pleased to see that the hospital levy passed. I voted for it, and encouraged others to do so. I have faith that they will put these new funds to good use in service of the community. I also hope that, as part of the clinical campus they hope to build, they will consider building something we’ve never had, but also needed: an elephant clinic.

A proposed Adams County Elephant Clinic could care for area elephants in a variety of ways. For instance: thorns caught in paws, tusk replacement, and trunk physical therapy. The clinic could also care for mental ailments, as well. Mouse phobias, peanut addiction seminars, and the Dumbo Complex could all be treated.

I can hear the naysayers already: “But there are no elephants anywhere near Adams County.” To which I reply with two words: “Not yet.” We’ll never attract elephants and to this area unless we appeal to their needs. The sooner we build the Adams County Elephant Clinic, the sooner we can bring pacadern dollars into our community.

Sincerely,
Ryan Arey