First Encounter with the Lawyer

Today I thought I'd try to let the lawyer know that I was friendly. So I set out a saucer of milk, but he didn't take to it. Next I tried some dried cereal, but this too he rejected.

Finally I went to my Aunt Esther's house to visit her. She pratled on and on about how happy she was to see me and how it had been weeks before she had heard a human voice because her television was out of service and her arthritis was too bad to dial her rotary phone. She kept trying to hug me and I kept dodging her on my way to the fridge.

She had several pint-sized vials of human blood in the freezer from where her dead husband George was a hemophiliac. I scooped up all the blood and carried it out in one of her brown paper A & P shopping bags.

That night, after the blood had thawed, I set it out by the crawlspace. I figured that if the lawyer were to venture out, he would be more comfortable at night.

The next morning the blood was gone, and there was a typed copy of my lease, with a leter explaining that I was entitled to better fire insurance coverage than I was currently recieving.

The lease was also dotted with blood, but I thought this could be the beginning of somethign nice.